Moon Base Ramen at JAXA Dome

Konnichiwa from 238,900 miles above Earth! Your favorite interplanetary succulent has finally made it to the moon, and my first stop on this lunar food tour is the JAXA Dome—Japan's magnificent contribution to the International Lunar Research Station. As I floated through the airlock (yes, FLOATED—being a lightweight cactus has its perks in low gravity), the aroma of tonkotsu broth hit my senses like a meteor shower of deliciousness.

The JAXA Dome's cafeteria, affectionately called "Tsuki no Ramen" (Moon Ramen), has solved one of space cuisine's greatest challenges: how do you slurp noodles when broth wants to become a floating blob of chaos? Their ingenious solution involves specially designed bowls with magnetic lids and noodles that have been engineered to maintain their texture in lunar gravity—which is about 1/6th of Earth's. The result? Ramen that practically dances into your mouth, with each strand performing a graceful lunar ballet before landing perfectly on your tongue.

Chef Tanaka, who left a three-Michelin-star restaurant in Sapporo to become the moon's first ramen master, personally prepared my bowl. The broth is made using hydroponic pork bones (yes, they're growing pigs hydroponically now—don't ask me how, it involves magnets and dreams) and the noodles are extruded fresh daily from lunar-grown wheat. The chashu is vacuum-sealed perfection, and the soft-boiled egg? Let me tell you, eggs cook DIFFERENTLY in low gravity. The yolk stays impossibly creamy throughout, like someone engineered the perfect jammy egg at a molecular level. They probably did.

The dining experience itself is surreal. You're sitting in a pressurized dome with a massive transparent ceiling, and as you slurp your noodles, Earth rises slowly over the lunar horizon. I may have shed a single cactus tear into my bowl—don't worry, it was salty and probably improved the broth. The Japanese astronauts around me were remarkably unfazed by a crying cactus; apparently, first-timers get emotional about Earth-rise all the time.

For dessert, Chef Tanaka presented me with mochi ice cream that had been frozen using the natural lunar night temperatures (it gets down to -280°F when the sun sets here). The texture was unlike anything I'd experienced—crystalline and ethereal, like eating a frozen cloud that happened to taste like matcha. He called it "Tsuki Mochi" and said the recipe would never work on Earth because of the gravity. Exclusive moon dessert. Take THAT, earthbound food critics.

My advice for future lunar tourists: book your reservation at Tsuki no Ramen at least six months in advance. Also, practice eating in low gravity before you arrive—I accidentally launched a gyoza into a ventilation shaft and felt terrible about it. The maintenance crew was very understanding, but I still left an extra-large tip. Next stop: NASA Dome and their famous Cosmic BBQ! 🌵🍜🌙